The most anabolic substance

What is the most anabolic substance? Is it food? No. Is it water? No. The most anabolic substance on earth is AIR. We can live for a  few weeks without food. A few days without water. But only a few minutes without air.

Airman Megaman 2

Airman’s shoulders are bigger than ours!

Are you getting enough air?

Get a close pin and clip your nose. Try training. Fuck it’s impossible! Try sleeping. Good luck haha. Yet that’s what you are doing when you go about your life with a bad nose. When your septum is deviated, or your sinuses or mucous membranes are inflamed from allergies or irritants, you’re not getting enough air. You get more air by clearing your breathing pathway. Here’s how to open up your nose.

The “opening up your nose” program

This program is best tested as a pre-sleep routine. So that’s how we’re going to try this program.

Step 1: Go to the pharmacy and buy stuff

Oxymetazoline spray for sport, Nose strips for sport

Alcohol swabs, nasal strips, Oxymetazoline based nasal spray

Any alcohol swabs will do. I recommend EXTRA sized nasal strips, they actually are stronger than normal sized strips and work significantly better. As for the Oxymetazoline based nasal decongestant spray, I think all Oxymetazoline spray products are standardized to 0.05% concentration, so it doesn’t matter which you purchase. I bought a store brand at a US grocery chain (Publix).

Step 2: Use the stuff you bought

I recommend first trying this out an an hour before bed.

Juji cleaning his nose

Clean the top of your nose with the alcohol swabs and dry it.

Jujimufu, nose strip sport performance

Apply the nasal strip. Too low is better than too high for the placement.

Oxymetazoline spray

Now spray the Oxymetazoline spray into your nose. 3 full sprays per nostril.

Snort and blow your nose for the next hour as the nasal passages begin clearing. You might notice it’s a lot easier to breathe out of your nose. Great. Now go to sleep. You might have the best night of sleep you’ve ever had. One interesting observation you may make: you don’t wake up to pee. Often when we wake up to pee at night, it’s not because we have to pee, it’s because we can’t breathe… and then we just get up and pee while we’re awakened.

Unfortunately, if you like this pre-sleep ritual you can’t do it forever because Oxymetazoline is dangerous if used everyday.

Step 3: Make a diluted Oxymetazoline solution

Oxymetazoline is not a drug to dick around with. It’s very powerful and you shouldn’t use it for more than 3 days in a row at the normal over-the-counter doses: it can permanently damage your nasal passages if used long term. However, it is possible to safely use Oxymetazoline long term if it is diluted. So let’s make a diluted version of the Oxymetazoline nasal spray.

Go back to the pharmacy and buy:

  • Saline
  • An empty container for small liquids.
  • A 1 mL dropper.

Roughly make a 5:95 solution of Oxymetazoline nasal spray to saline. (about 5% Oxymetazoline). Take these steps:

  1. Empty ALL of the Oxymetazoline nasal spray from its container into the empty container.
  2. Refill the original Oxymetazoline container with Saline solution to the top.
  3. Add back in 1 mL of the transferred Oxymetazoline back into its original container.
  4. Shake.

These instructions are for a 30 mL unit of Oxymetazoline nasal spray.

(IE. 30 mL of saline + 1 mL of Oxymetazoline + whatever is left on the inside walls of the original Oxymetazoline spray bottle is about 5%)

How precise is this dilution protocol? Well, it’s not as precise as me using a pipette, but it’s close enough.

Jujimufu, biology

A 1 mL dropper would be a suitable substitute tool for this pipette operation.

When you use the diluted Oxymetazoline solution you should notice that it still works very well. Continue using the new diluted Oxymetazoline solution nightly with your nose strips.

This isn’t the end of the road for us, let’s add one final tweak, and then a very important last step on our journey towards ultimate nosery.

Step 4: Introduce the neti pot

Jujimufu, neti pot viking

Jujimufu, the neti pot viking.

Jujimufu, neti pot viking


Go acquire these items from a natural health food store or herbal shop:

  • A neti pot
  • Neti wash salt
  • Distilled water

A neti pot will clear your nasal passages of debris and boogers. It’s really quite cool! So start by filling your neti pot with room temperature distilled water and microwave for about 20 seconds, until luke warm. Add about 1/16th tsp of neti salt, mix, and then use. Repeat again for the other nostril. There are many instructions on the internet on how to use a neti pot for nasal irrigation. I’ll let you google that yourself. Hell, your neti pot box probably has instructions on it somewhere. Don’t use the neti pot immediately before bed. 

  • 60 minutes before bed: apply nose strip and use your new diluted Oxymetazoline solution.
  • 45 minutes before bed: use neti pot.

So do this 15 minutes after you apply the nose strip and use your diluted Oxymetazoline solution. (the neti pot is more effective when your airways are already opened up). The reason you use the neti pot 45 minutes before bed instead of immediately before bed is because after you use the neti pot, you might bend over later and notice more water draining out of your nose. It happens. You need enough time before bed for it to drain or you’ll be sleeping with water in your nose.

Now for the most important step in this program.

Step 5: Visit an ENT doctor

Make an appointment for an ENT (Ear Nose and Throat doctor). If you’ve never had an ENT doctor check your nose before, it’s time to do it NOW. Schedule an appointment and then tell them you want a general checkup. While you are there, have them visually inspect for a deviated septum and report any trouble you may have had breathing. Here’s something important to remember: the primary cause of a deviated septum is a blow to the nose.

Have you ever gotten in a fight, been hit in the nose by a ball, elbowed in the nose, or hit your face tricking? That’s all it takes to deviate your septum permanently for the rest of your life. It’s possible your nose was smacked, your septum then deviated, and you didn’t even know it. It’s possible you’ve been breathing crappy only recently the past few years. Visit an ENT. Now.

Here are at least two things the ENT may do. 1) If your septum is very deviated, they’ll perform surgery like they did on my friend Armando. 2) If your nose isn’t that bad, but isn’t great, they may prescribe you a medicine safer for long term use than Oxymetazoline. Me? My septum is deviated, but only very mildly. The doctor said I may not benefit from a surgery. However, he noted my mucous membranes were severely inflamed, which is why I had so much trouble breathing out of my nose. What was inflaming them? Allergies. To what? Modern life. Probably caused by a host of unavoidable things floating around in the atmosphere from industry, traffic, household cleaners, by products of air conditioning, chemicals, you name it…

Inflamed nose

My nose can be Abnormal due to allergies and inflammation. Caused by what? Caused by modern life, that’s what…

The doctor prescribed me medication for my inflamed nasal passages. I got a prescription for something called Dymista.


My prescription Dymista.

I love Dymista and it’s what I’m using now instead of the Oxymetazoline for daily use. It’s not as powerful as Oxymetazoline but there are fewer side effects and it’s safer for long term use. I use it in the morning, and before sleeping. Dymista is an anti-histamine and anti-inflammatory, which reduces the swelling and allows me to breathe optimally.

Bonus: the “high air” pre-workout protocol

If you want more than just improved sleep quality through oxygen uptake you can try the “high air” pre-workout protocol. There are 3 ingredients…

Lung erection

Ephedrine HCL 25mg for LUNG ERECTION


Nasal strip for ORC NOSE


3 full strength sprays of Oxymetazoline HCL for NOSE VACUUM

You could do this once or twice a week long term, the limiting ingredient being the full strength Oxymetazoline spray (because I wouldn’t use the full strength Oxymetazoline spray more than once or twice per week long term.) Experience the future of pre-workout trends, today, by stacking the “high air” pre-workout stack on top of your current pre-workout stack (preferably coffee, a mild pain killer, and some trending odd soon-to-be-illicit stimulant of some sort).

Why I wrote this

Air is the most anabolic substance on earth. If you aren’t getting enough air because you have asthma or restrictions in your nasal passage like I discussed in this post, your gains will be stunted and your quality of life will be needlessly reduced. I realized I haven’t been getting enough air when I breathe through my nose when my buddy Armando Figueroa shared his story with me. He inspired these instructions courtesy of his ENT, which I ran by my own ENT with confirmation, which I’ve shared here, that I’ve been using the past months with great effect. I now sleep much better, sometimes not waking up even once in the middle of the night! I am very thankful he motivated me to visit an ENT and get myself checked up.

Your turn

Now it’s time for you to try the protocol in this post and comment below. Then visit an ENT soon and let us know how your visit goes. Good luck!


If anyone can figure out a way to save money on nose strips please let me know! I’m going broke on these things and none of the DIY instructions online I’ve tried have worked!

54 Replies to “The most anabolic substance”

  1. Jon Call says:

    Thanks to our friend Andrea Nadia for the hilarious drawings!

  2. Josiah says:

    Hahaha, performance enhancing drugs for breathing. Great point though, whenever I trick or do anything that requires a high respiratory demand my performance sucks without my inhaler (albuterol sulfate).

  3. PureApeshit says:

    i had deviated septum operation as 13 year old, did not fix nothing lol

  4. Rodolfo says:

    I always thought about that, i’ve practiced karate for 12 years, and every time i was fighting I started to breath throught my mouth, that irritated a lot my throat and caused some real loss of energy with time.
    I have already tryied those nose strips and some kind of spray…
    Yet my problem persists, every day one of my nostrils are congested.
    This encouraged me to see a doc asap. Will post my results here later!

    1. Jon Call says:

      Hope you can get some relief my friend.

  5. Valvolt Nova says:

    Breathing through nose is supposed to be way more healthy than breathing through mouth.
    That’s because nose hairs are able to filter the air, preventing bacteria and dust from being inhaled.

    1. Jon Call says:

      I have cut out my nose hairs before and… while a little trimming can make breathing a bit more comfortable, when you simply cut them all out of your nose the following days your nostrils feel like they are on fire!!! So yeah, nose hairs are your friend haha. Nice point you made too, didn’t think about that (definitely didn’t think of that the few times I trimmed my nose hairs like a fool haha)

  6. PureApeshit says:

    i need to put some calm down info out here:

    idk much bout this armando guy, but if you have sleep apnea its because you snore.
    as a kid i had severe allergies where i would go for three days without being able breath trough my nose, i slept just breathing trough my mouth, after getting used to it its no big deal. it sucks to not be able to breath trough nose, but it does not cause waking up and all the super negative jazz.

    all people i ever knew who had such sleep problems were heavy snorers, which as i understand is fucking ur self up with stress, coffee, or obesity.

    maybe armando is a snorer, but ofc when he can breath trough nose he stops snoring. thats my best guess, because to fuck up your sleep just because your nose is shut sounds strange to me.

  7. Shost says:

    I think you’re right , I had allergies since childhood , and i breath through my mouth most of the time , And it doesn’t cause me to wake up too , I don’t even know how does it feel to breath through my nose , i just can’t see the difference because i have never been able to do so , but one thing i have noticed is that , whenever i start doing something that pushes my cardiovascular system to work harder ( cardiovascular activity , tricking ,ect.. ) , My nose is Open and i can breath through it .

  8. Ryu Sujin says:

    Fantastic post. I actually wake up 2-3 times a night ON AVERAGE every night and have never thought anything of it. I just attributed it to me being a light sleeper. I plan on visiting my local drug store tomorrow and investigating speaking to an ENT doctor asap. I suspect my quality of life might be drastically enhanced by following some of these suggestions.

  9. Armando says:

    pureapeshit after i was diagnosed the ENT sent me to a place where a sleep study was made, i was diagnosed with sleep apnea with an AHI of 12 (meaning that i experienced 12 episodes of oxygen desaturation per hour) so it was just mild sleep apnea, it was caused because the structures in my throat were always swollen because the chronic mouth breathing and partially blocked the air flow when i was asleep.
    one of the reasons no one suspects sleep apnea on young and apparently healthy people it’s because it’s associated with people who are overweight, who have a large neck or a small mandible.

  10. Valvolt Nova says:

    You really are a man who tries everything! That’s what I like about you. 🙂
    Also, less nose hair, less snot… I can’t use my special attack: Snot Bomb!! XD

  11. PureApeshit says:

    btw its totally normal to wake up 1-2 times a night

    here is tvplrm research –

    1. Jon Call says:

      What if I don’t want to be totally normal? I feel better when I sleep through the night. What if I want to sleep through the entire night and wake up feeling better than normal?

  12. Ryu Sujin says:

    Supplies have been bought. Have everything but the nettipot, which I will look for at another drug store tomorrow. Will report on results after 2 nights of trying this 😀

    1. Jon Call says:

      Good luck! Neti pot can make a huge difference imo.

  13. Matt says:

    Great article! I can’t wait to try this stuff out and see how it improves my sleep. I wake up so much at night and it could very well be because I’m always congested/one nostril always seems to be closed and breathing get crappy. I snore terribly. I also loved how the lungs connected directly to the spinal column. I didn’t know they did that. 😀

    1. Armando says:

      matt i’m pretty sure that’s the trachea and bronchus not the spine hahahhaa

  14. Armando says:

    juji, you forgot the “UNRESTRICTED AIRFLOW” phrase, that’s sounds pretty awesome to me hahahah

    1. Joyelle says:

      yea but ok0.#23&;8.1. join game2. wait for other players3. start game4. If it is done loading i comes back to main menu and ask for online acc(Normaly tehre is standing synch.. and ready)but this dont happend

  15. Taegashi says:

    I have to say, I too have sleep apnea and have to use a CPAP to sleep. For those that don’t know what a CPAP is it’s the breathing machine you have to wear when you sleep. Before I was diagnosed and had to use one I had extreme difficulty sleeping and it was due to the fact I would just stop breathing at night. I would feel tired and exhausted and it really did affect my daily life both physically and mentally. MInd you I was in the Army still when I was diagnosed and very much still in good weight standards (not so much now) so being overweight couldn’t have been a factor. I contribute this to the harsh conditions I was put through during my time in the service. I’m telling you now if you have ever been told you snore, feel tired even after a decent nights sleep, or just can’t sleep well go have a sleep study done (especially if you’re told that you stop breathing completely).

    This is particularly bad in the sense that this can later on lead to cardiovascular issues, which goes hand in hand with the anabolic qualities that Juji points out. I really hope you all will take what has been said very seriously because It does have major consequences. I know a guy that I used to work for that now has three heart stents (mesh tubes that hold your arteries open) because he didn’t take this seriously after being diagnosed and refused to use his CPAP. I use mine every night and I sleep wonderfully.

  16. Abdul Ghani says:

    I tried using Dymista but I think some of it drained into my mouth/throat and gave me the worst taste imaginable. I was unable to drink milk for several days, so I quit using it…

    1. Jon Call says:

      Strange, it doesn’t taste that bad to me. Not nearly as bad as many other medicines, supplements, etc. But yes, it will go down the back of the throat/mouth, that’s one of the listed side effects is bitter taste.

  17. PureApeshit says:

    well i wake up 2 times a night go pee and go back to sleep, sleep feels great i feel awesome and nights when i dont wake up all night i sleep same and there is no difference.

    you have some severe obsession psychopaty shit going on jujimufu the glorious, u need stop calculating all shit, you are anorexic, i guess pseudooptimisationexic :DDD, srsly, i wish you best my brotha

  18. Ryu Sujin says:

    Well, it’s been two nights. Time for the promised report!

    Night 1: 1 hour before bed, cleaned off my nose and applied the nasal strip. I fucked up the positioning. Fucked it up again. *toss* applied another one perfectly. Woah! My nostrils…they flare. Feels good! Next, time for the 0.05% Oxymetazoline spray (Drixoral). 3 squirts up both nostrils. Ok, holy shit. I have NEVER in my life felt nose breathing be this easy or unrestricted. It’s like I’ve been living a lie. I settle down to go to bed. This is when I realize that having a shitty bed, a hot room, and/or excessive noise from outside will not help keep you asleep. Nor fall asleep easier. Despite the amazing feeling of being able to breathe so freely, I don’t sleep all that well on the first night.

    Night 2: Exact same protocol as the night before. I’ve opened my window well-ahead of time and my room is nice and cool, just how I like it. I settle down to sleep an hour after I’ve done this glorious nose treatment protocol. Despite the room being cooler, I’d say I slept only slightly better than average, and I have a feeling that might be some sort of placebo. I’m really starting to think my bed is the culprit. It is old, in all fairness, so I have a new bed on my mind after all this. I REALLY love the nasal clarity, and I’m going to mix up a 5:95 solution of this stuff.

    So, this is what I’ve concluded: if your sleeping in a room with a comfortable temperature, in a bed that doesn’t suck, then this protocol will likely work WONDERS. My experience was lack-luster, but I don’t attribute this to the protocol. It’s more than likely my shitty bed.

    1. Jon Call says:

      Thanks for the report Ryu. 🙂 Yes it’s hard to sleep in a hot room with little airflow.

  19. handstandguy says:

    Juji my roommate snores 🙁

    Wut do?

  20. AidenBloodaxe says:

    Years ago, when I did GOMAD, my nose was rendered utterly useless. There was probably other contributing factors going on too, but it certainly FELT like it was the excessive milk. I’ve also had plenty of nose knocks; cars, fists, floors, elbows, dogs, so this program is something I’m going to look into.

    1. Keyla says:

      That’s way the besetst answer so far!

    2. I appreciate what you’re saying but I think that characters do need flaws and vulnerabilities. It’s what makes them human. Male characters often do without, such as with Kratos – but that doesn’t make them likeable or good characters.

  21. PureApeshit says:

    for you who snore i think you can get fix dat shit by training your soft palet, in free diver community it is well known method to equalize pressure in ears when doing ultra deep dives, you need this shit called frenzel maneuvre or smthing, you can read very detailed and awesome writing about it here:

    as snoring is soft palet fucking ur airflow i think this should cure it, the ability to control and making soft palet powerful, as i never knew a free diver(no scuba gear) who snores 😀

  22. Freshtrash says:

    This actually makes a lot of sense. When you work out, your body releases catecholamins, that basicly act the same way on your nose as the Oxymetazoline.

  23. Jodadiah says:

    Next paycheck I’m definitely investing in all these things. I have bad allergies towards maple pollen and some grass types. I had found a 100 piece do-it-yourself nasal strip kit in Amazon Jon, but it is on backorder.

    1. Jon Call says:

      My dad has kind of a cuckoo imagination and is very good at coming up with little innovations around the house and such. I’ve asked him to come up with a way to reuse them, he’s been thinking about it. I hope he delivers, he usually does…

  24. Gregor says:

    Instead of those strips, maybe give nasal dilators a try

    They come in different models:

    I have been using this model (made off soft silicon):

    1. Jon Call says:

      I’ve never seen such a thing. What size did you get? Do you clean them? How do they compare to strips?

  25. Gregor says:

    I have size M from this model

    But since there is no size chart it was just luck, maybe L would work too for me.

    Cleaning: I just rinse it with water.

    I have never tried strips (because of the damn prices) so I can’t compare.

  26. I’m going to give the strips a try, allergies often contribute to a shoddy night of tossing and turning, this could also be attributed to my vagabond style warrior “bed” an 8 year old futon pad on a broken crooked frame.

    I announce, in public, that I’m buying a real bed when I move next week! Anyone hear have suggestions for beds that support a muscular figure and keep spinal alignment?

  27. keen says:

    Where is Seiji? All this for air, this be the craze e.

  28. NickF says:

    I showed it to him a couple weeks ago, he didn’t seem very interested in trying it out

  29. Marko says:

    Have you tried some of the deep breathing exercises from Elliot Hulse?

    You’ll probably like it.

    I’ve personally noticed my lung capacity immediately increase when doing these after pausing for some time, give it a try!

    1. Tish says:

      Er, whoops, been juggling numbers all day and had a big brain fart there. Meant to say that th#e;&e39rs got to be 200 million with IQs over 120 in India and China alone. Don't know how I clicked submit on that one…

  30. Jodadiah says:

    I’m making my nasal strips out of a Pringles can lid. I cut a rectangular piece out of it and am attaching it to band aids. Its been working great every night!

  31. Armend says:

    After reading this article, I am going to schedule an appointment with an ENT doctor ASAP. I have a deviated septum, what caused it? at this point I don’t even know, it could be the time I fell face first onto a hard wood step… or when that time when I was playing soccer and blocked the ball with my nose, all I know is my right nostril sounds like a clogged squeak toy while inhaling deeply.

  32. Michael says:

    I tried using these nasal dilators. I found after a few days of use, they made the inside of the nose extremely sensitive and raw. If you used them long term, how did you get around this? They were quite effective.

    1. Jon Call says:

      Hi Michael,

      Yes they will make your nose insides raw. That’s why I recommend diluting them per the recipe, or using them only 1-2 times per week. If you use them everyday they will damage your nostrils. This is for oxymetazolin based nose sprays. I use Dymista which you can use everyday without this problem.

  33. Michael says:

    ^That reply was in response to Gregor.

    Another useful tool for improving sleep (more like tracking sleep improvement) is the smartphone app called “Sleep.” You put the phone next to your head while you sleep with the app on in the background and it wakes up whenever it hears sharp noises, i.e. snoring. Using this you can see just how effective whatever snoring/sleep apnea solution you’re using is. For me I found the most effective was netty pot + dilator strips. I tried Gregor’s recommended nose inserts and they reduced but did not eliminate snoring.

    For DIY nasal strips, what adhesive tape are you guys using? I tried a couple different things but none of the adhesives were strong enough.

    1. Jon Call says:

      Oops. I thought you were referring to the Afrin nasal spray as a “nasal dilator” … haha

      Michael what do you think of the sleep apps that require you to put your phone under your mattress?

  34. Michael says:

    I’ve never heard of an app requiring the phone to be under the mattress (or pillow for that matter)… usually I just place it on my headboard. It’s non-intrusive.

  35. hans says:

    hi juji! i noticed that when i use oxy before bedtime my dreams are a lot more vivid and i can control them to some degree. my lucid dreaming abilities are fairly inconsistent (5-10% of the time) by comparison. have you experienced something similar? if yes does it work with dymista too?

    1. Jon Call says:

      Hi Hans,

      I have not noticed this with Oxy or Dymista. No. I hope you like this effect haha! 🙂

  36. Michael says:

    I found this video about making DIY nasal strips. Specifically in the comments section someone recommends “Transpore surgical tape” or “Mefix porous self adhesive tape” rather than a bandaid. When I personally tried the bandaid method it was not sticky enough so I will try to get my hands on these tapes and report back. Breathe Right strips were a wonderful product but were too darn expensive.

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